Fluffy Trinity

Part II. From Death to Life

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As I already said, waking up was a surprise on its own. No one can really comprehend the chaos in a soul that was ready to depart for whatever comes after Death, only to be wide awake and alive the next moment.

Those first moments were Hell in the most materialized form I’ve ever experienced. Not only because I was shocked and couldn’t understand why I was alive, but my whole body was on fire. With cold fingertips, I touched my own forehead, even that faintest touch making me cringe with pain. It was well over the point of normal fever – I suppressed the irrational reflexes of my body, telling me to withdraw my fingers if I don’t want them burned. Of course, nothing like that happened, but the calming feeling of something cool against my skin soon stopped being enough to make the pain better and I heard myself whine softly, momentarily unable to even be ashamed.

Then, I saw him.

Leaning against the wall, he was watching me with a sad smile and a weird look that seemed like he himself couldn’t believe I was alive. I reached out my hand to him, but just as at the moment of my supposed death, I couldn’t reach him.

“Water…” I whispered in quiet, rasp voice and Kei just shook his head, moving a few steps closer, but still out of my reach.

“You can’t. It won’t help your condition now.”

I wanted to retort something about me knowing the best about my own body, and what he could possibly know about human construction, but the second I took my breath to tell him, my insides churned violently and I felt everything inside me stir painfully.

Kei dragged me to the toilet – I don’t even remember the movement, just that porcelain white in front of my face as I lost what I had in my stomach. It hurt even to breathe, so I tried to go without, but my lungs demanded oxygen with violence that made me look closely towards the porcelain once more.

Gasping for breath and feeling I had nothing more to throw up, I almost fell to the floor, enjoying the cool tiles on my skin for a while and then curling in pain as something grabbed on my insides and squeezed. Tight.

I could see the blood streaking the porcelain even with the tears in my eyes. I wasn’t able to stop throwing up, maybe because of the copper taste in my mouth after each and every one of many coughs and spits of blood. When, finally, the pain from my stomach ceased, my whole body started shivering violently, feeling so cold suddenly that I wanted to just curl up like a child to save up a little heat. I felt Kei beside me, settling down on the floor next to me and hugging me tightly, giving me what little warmth he had.

“Don’t be scared,” he whispered to me and his warm breath was more comforting to me than his words.

“W…what…” I managed, my teeth clicking loudly, the tremble of my body unstoppable even with Kei’s firm grip on me.

“Don’t worry,” he repeated, “it’s just your body dying.”

If I had the strength then to be terrified, I would. But as I was, I could only tremble in pain and wish it all to stop.

It didn’t, for several hours. I sat on the cold tiles, shivering like a leaf in the wind and occasionally throwing up some more. Kei explained later that it was my new, vampire body trying to purify itself from all the human filth I had left inside me. My whole being had to be rebuilt and it was a slow, painful process.

Thankfully, I can’t quite remember the whole thing, but according to Kei’s words, I eventually stopped shaking and bleeding and just lost consciousness.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Next time I woke up, the pain and the fever were all gone and when I saw Kei, my first reaction was to lunge at him. I was still almost unconscious of what I’d become, which meant I didn’t have the willpower needed to resist such urges. So I just went with the flow and did it.

When I became fully aware of what exactly I’d done, my eyes widened in surprise. Of course, I wasn’t able to hold him pinned to the wall for more than a second, until he counterattacked and threw me across the room. But still, I felt that the gap between our abilities, which had once been so wide, had lessened. The difference between us was more than that of a Master and a new student, instead of a lion and a worm, never capable of overcoming that difference. What I lacked was experience, not power – I felt the strength bubble under my skin; I could hear my muscles rippling, waiting for another attack.

But it never came and Kei only smirked, running his hand through his hair tiredly.

“So how do you feel, Shou?”

I wanted to answer, but couldn’t, for some reason. I didn’t even know what the answer would be – my body didn’t hurt anymore, but it did not mean I was okay. I felt… blank, without purpose, without anything to really feel, now that the pain was gone. So I just growled at him, a strange sound, strangely familiar – and let him guess what it meant.

His smirk only widened.

“Hungry?”

I shook my head – the mere thought of food made my stomach turn upside down again and I still remembered the previous night – or was it really…?

“How long…?” I asked, and Kei shrugged.

“Three days. It took me a week to completely transform, so bear with it for a little longer. Your senses will sharpen soon enough.”

It didn’t make sense to me, not one of his words. Why I wasn’t dead?

“What the hell are you…” blabbering about, I wanted to ask, but suddenly, his words dawned on me and I stared at him in disbelief – in horror, even. Me… a vampire… undead. Monster. Blood. Death. Kei telling me with tears in his eyes that he couldn’t turn Yi-Che, because he hated his own existence…

“HOW COULD YOU?!” I yelled, disgusted at my own harsh voice, coming to me unfamiliar and uncontrolled. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, KEI!”

“I saved your life,” he tried to reason, but when the nearby chair hit the wall on which he was previously leaning, he reconsidered and with a frown, turned to leave.

“I NEVER ASKED TO BE SAVED!” I cried hysterically, clutching at the light cotton shirt I was wearing – I didn’t recognize it, but I was sure that the fabric wasn’t made to be so scratchy and uncomfortable. It was driving me mad, that feeling of my skin being slowly torn to the point of bleeding… by a mere shirt.

“Calm down,” he ordered me coolly and walked out of room, leaving me to my despair. After tearing down the clothes that became painfully rough, I was too exhausted to stay awake and once again yielded to the idea of refreshing sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He was right.

My senses sharpened to the point when they were sharp enough to cut me. I heard roaring of cars outside as if I was lying on the road. Every breath I took was too loud for my own ears, even if I tried to be as quiet as possible. I felt every single thread of the covers on my bed cutting through my skin and it was hard to resist the urge to scratch at my over-sensitive body. The faintest of smells I never noticed before were making my head spin.

All of this was so terrifying that I couldn’t help but just lie down there, not moving, trying not to make a sound even if my sole existence seemed too loud, too… real now. I was dead and I was too alive at the same time, realizing myself more than I ever did. More than I ever wanted.

And he was suddenly there with me.

Not just quietly being present behind my back, as he always did. Now, he was just as real as me, just as loud, just as unrestrained in his existence. It shocked me more than that self-awareness I developed – I’ve never been able to detect his presence, to see him if he didn’t want to be seen, to hear his breathing and quiet footsteps. But now, it all seemed to me so naturally here – I heard him approaching the room even before the creaking of the door tore my ears apart.

“Are you awake now?” he asked and I winced in pain, even if his words were a mere whisper. I wouldn’t usually be able to hear it, I knew. I tried to turn my head and as the rough pillow came in contact with my face, I almost moaned – it felt as if my cheek was on fire.

“Hurt…” I breathed out, hoping he’d make it go away. But Kei’s face was helpless, lost, when he approached me and sat down on my bed.

“I know. It will fade when you get used to it.”

He touched my aching cheek and his cold hand was like a soothing salve on a burned flesh. I leaned into his touch, knowing that I shouldn’t act this way, that I was angry at him, that all this was his fault, but I was too glad to actually touch something that didn’t hurt. Even if that something was Kei’s skin.

“Did you get to sleep?” his voice echoed with concern and I flinched again, as he forgot to whisper. He lowered his voice at once and lifted me up, making me sit on the bed and lean against him. His shirt seemed to be made of thousands of needles and I irrationally believed that any more pressure against them would actually pierce my skin.

“I know, I know. Shh… sorry.” Kei seemed to recognize his mistake, because he shed his shirt immediately and held me close again.

It was strange, once again something I didn’t understand, but his skin felt good against mine, the only good thing I remembered in this world full of pain. I had hugged Kei before, but it never felt this familiar, this precious to me.

“Better?” he whispered into my hair and I nodded, rubbing my cheek against his chest in the process.

“That’s because I’m as artificial as you are now. Your body recognizes only mine in this world that’s so new for you…” he sighed, then placed a little kiss on my forehead. His lips were warm and wet, and I felt even the tiniest bit of him touching me as separately and as complexly as I could never feel anything before. “That’s what my Father told me when he made me. I don’t really get it… but that’s the only way I know to make you feel at least a bit better. So bear with it for a little longer, Shou.”

I would, even if his whispers weren’t so pleading, so intense. I would, only to feel him against me longer, to have his arms wrapped around me and making me feel safe – as safe as that strong embrace would make me feel on a ship about to sink to the depths of the ocean. As safe as I could feel with the knowledge that the hug won’t make the situation any better in the long run, that it’s just an illusion of comfort I receive before the final blow.

Now that I think about it, the pain must have made me dizzy and delusional, but that’s how I felt at the time. That nothing would be better anymore, that there was nothing to look forward to, nothing to enjoy.

That was before I knew all of the aspects of immortality.

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